Clairvoyance for Clarity

Today is a new day. I'm still trying to catch everything that is being hurled at me. I'm a hockey goalie practicing before the Stanley cup. 

My heart actually hurts. Longing, regret, fear, hope, and anticipation have flooded my every thought. I often have to remind myself to breathe. Slow down. Gather myself, damn it! My emotions these past couple of weeks have been a mix between that of a teenager’s first love or break-up, I’m not sure which, and a healthy visionary being told I have a week to live. Time and love are meteor showers raining above my head. I get to see their beauty for only a fleeting moment before they evaporate into a billion tiny embers. 

The panic within me is exhausting. Yet it’s invigorating. I have a purpose—writing. I have a plan—freedom. I have guidance—from whatever energy is sending me the wolf signs. And from Chrystal, the most gifted clairvoyant (which translates literally into ‘clear seer’) that I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.  

She has the ability to make sense of all that seems so senseless around us. I have arranged a date with her tomorrow. More anticipation fills me if that’s possible. Because though the rising sun is clearing the clouds surrounding my thoughts and decisions, it's not working quickly enough--time is fleeting. I'm calling for a little help from above, which is certainly from where this amazing woman’s gift comes!

I can’t wait to share her amazing insights into the craziness that has taken over my life.

Live your dreams my friends :-) 

Origami Cranes

The other day when I was driving home from my little writing haven, I needed to feel the morning air on my skin and in my lungs. I feel entombed in my car sometimes, and I long to feel God’s breath against my face. Blowing my hair in every direction possible. Kissing my neck. 

I opened both front windows as far down as they would go, and I took a deep breath in—then I breathed in just a little bit more, until every tiny area of my lungs was filled with fresh oxygen. I held it in and felt it feed my blood and my brain. Slowly, slowly I exhaled every tiny bit of the newly formed carbon dioxide out the window and toward the trees. I imagined them breathing it in and thanking me. You’re welcome, I smiled. 

I was totally in my moment when I remembered the hundred or so origami cranes resting in my back window. During the 12 hour drive to Richmond and the 12 hour drive home, Anna and Sophie made cranes. Anna is trying to reach 1,000 so that she may be granted wishes by the Gods as told in Japanese legend.

I remembered the cranes in the back window because several of them had taken flight in my back seat. I told them (yes, I spoke out loud to the paper cranes 😊 ) to go ahead and fly—that’s what they were made to do. “Cranes are meant to fly”, I told them. I realized at that moment as I watched the cranes through my blowing strands of hair, flying behind my head, that I am a crane. Just like them, I’ve been made to think that my place is resting gently on a shelf, when in reality, I am meant to live, and go, and explore, and be. I was made to fly. My wings have been clipped for a very long time, but I know without a doubt that I will quickly learn again how to glide peacefully through God’s breath. I will easily feel it brush my cheeks and blow my hair as I explore this beautiful life. 

  

I smiled a knowing smile the rest of my ride home, and sat for quite a while after I turned off the ignition, taking it all in. I finally felt invigorated enough to go back into the house, which has become something of a cage to me. When I reached into the backseat to get my writing materials, there was a beautiful sky blue crane who, after his short flight in the backseat, landed gracefully next to my backpack. If the back windows had been opened, he no doubt, would be flying free into the beautiful day that matched his wings.

 Next time, all four windows will be opened.